Separating from your spouse, the person you hoped to spend the rest of your life with, is one of the most painful things anyone can go through. While painful, the situation isn’t permanent. All you need is to take the first step in the right direction and take charge of your life. Here are some of the steps and tips from Clarity Clinic to make separation less complicated or painful.
1. Avoid Sharing Too Much On Social Media
As tempting as it might be to share details of your separation on social media, we recommend not doing it at all. You can, however, choose to inform your family members, colleagues, and trusted friends of what you are going through, but not too much of it either. Only use the people you trust as your support system during this time and not the masses on social media. Taking to social media can make you use harsh words about the other person or the process, something that could come back to haunt you later. It’s also worth noting that anything you share on social media could be used against you in court. You thus want to be extra careful with what you share there.
2. Make Your Mental Health A Priority
This is particularly important if going through a nasty divorce. As tempting as it might be to get back to your spouse, doing so will only make the process worse and could come back to bite you. You however want to focus on overcoming the emotions to protect your mental health. That said, you want to prioritize your emotional and mental health over everything else, especially anything that could cloud your judgment.
3. Take Proper Care Of Yourself
Most people undergo an emotional and mental breakdown during the first few months of a divorce. Instead of going on a drinking rampage and neglecting your personal hygiene, why not focus on staying positing and improving your overall wellbeing. You can even device to go to the gym to keep fit, meditate, take up a new hobby, or even go for a safari. Focus on making positive changes in your life and health, and everything else will fall in place.
Consider yoga and physical exercise to combat any anxiety and stress pulling you down. Experts also recommend writing down any feelings you might be having/experiencing. You don’t need to be an expert writer to do this; all you need is to capture the important details at that moment in time. Writing your emotions and feelings down can help you calm down and tame any stress that could have been building up.
Next, you’ll want to create a schedule that will make it easier to move forward and improve your productivity as well. This is because the process of divorce can disrupt anything else that seemed normal, a reason you need to stay in control. Come up with a routine that will help guide you through the day to not only promote productivity but protect your overall wellbeing.
4. Consider Divorce Support Groups And/or Therapy
Whether you’ve been married for 6 months or 20 years, divorce can be brutal even to the strongest of persons. It disrupts your otherwise normal lifestyle leaving you feeling sad and disoriented. This happens even to those who were in an unhappy marriage. You still had a reason to be married to your spouse and had a fair share of good moments together. Most of these will come flooding back as soon as you or the other asks for a divorce.
Joining divorce support groups can help you cope and heal more easily. Staying in the company of others, going through the same and seeking guidance whenever possible might be what you need to push on. You might also want to seek professional help if it seems too much.
5. Review Your Finances
Divorce can be draining financially. If already divorced, then the next action would be to review your finances and see how you can save some money. It might also be the best time to look for a new place to live, get your own essentials, and cut down on non-essential expenses. This is particularly important if you had a shared account. Only focus on the essentials such as a phone plan, vehicle, and insurance for the time being.
6. Get All Vital Records In Order
It is never a bad idea to get all your vital records and documents organized. It’s also critical to ensure they are in order when separating or separated from your spouse. These include your healthcare, retirement information, employment history, pay stubs, credit card statements, loans, among others.
7. Get Your Records in Order
Having your vital documents and records organized is never a bad idea, but it’s especially critical if you’ve separated from your spouse. Items you’ll need to gather include information on loans, credit card statements, pay stubs, employment history, healthcare, retirement information, will, and more. Talk to your family lawyer about all these, and have all the necessary amendments made to avoid surprises in the future. A good attorney should be able to guide you through everything, including revising your will if needed.
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